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The "Real Housewives of Miss Universe 2013":


Miss Bulgaria Veneta Kresteva: Oh huney! One wrong look from Veneta in this gown and she might cut you...with some sequins! While I get the stage impact of this navy and silver completely beaded gown, I just think she looks more as if she was hosting the "Eurovision" Contest. And yes, in this, she looks like a "Real Housewife of Beverly Hills" who already has had two husbands and four kids and is heading to a party in Palms Casino Las Vegas...via private plane.






Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen (left): This royal blue gown looks so dated and soooo POLYESTER-y, I just cannot fathom why she chose this or who made her choose it and how she felt this was "Miss Universe" material. Kristina totally looks like a cast member of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" in this.

Miss Netherlands Stephanie Tency (right): This ivory beaded gown is a nice gown, but again, very dated and just screams 1996 wedding guest at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Her too-bleached hair and pouf-ed up style doesn't help either. Another cast member of the "Real Housewives" series yet again.


Miss Russia Elmira Abdrazakova: I'm sure Elmira is a lovely woman but this entire look is straight out of "The Shah's of Sunset". The black dress with silver crystal waist and sleeve hem accents plus those stripper platform pumps poking out...it's just too tacky-licious. And then, THAT hair! This is the girl your Mom and Dad warned you (at the last Bar Mitzvah you were at) to stay far, far away from because nothing good is going to come out of it.




Miss Slovenia Nina Burdevic: Nina chose this printed gown in what could best be described as a "puke-y" color combination; it hurts my eyes just looking at it. I think that possibly on an olive-skinned contestant, I might like it more, but on Nina, it looks a little "Real Housewives of Slovenia".



The Pageant Betty's:


Miss China Jin Ye (left): Let's start from the top: the bouffant, the diamante earrings and necklace (too mucheyy!) and if that wasn't enough, let's just throw in a bracelet as well. Edit. Edit. Edit girls when it comes to accessories. And then there's the strapless mermaid shaped gown with organza rosettes. The entire package is Pageant Betty not red carpet/Miss Universe fab.

Miss Ethiopia Maheder Tigabe (right): Ahhh, bless her heart. The reason why beautiful Maheder is here is again, the entire package. Her hair is sooo Pageant Betty 1998, the dress looks like it is from a Prom-&-Pageant shop; it looks cheap, and it is waaaay too short--about 8 inches in fact. I know some of these contestants don't have the options (or money) of the Top Girls, but good styling and the proper gown length could, at the very least, make it acceptable.



The Slit Queens:


While I love me a slit and some gowns can do slits very well, some cannot. And these are two examples of the latter--and especially when you combine it with the total unfortunate look:

Miss Honduras Diana Schoutsen (left): No, no and no. From the hair style (so Prom-&Pageant 90's), the big ol' earrings to the tacky silver stacked pumps, the entire look is so dated. The dress itself doesn't do Diana any favors; it looks cheap and typical and yes, the slit just takes it over the edge. It all needs editing.

Miss Italy Luna Voce (right): Luna won the "Top Model of The World" pageant (according to Wikipedia) but I would never, ever know this from looking at this garish choice of a gown that naturally, has to have a slit. This is more appropriate for a Vegas nightclub act before she strips down to a almost-nothing sequined bikini top and thong. Seriously.



Sheer Mess:


Miss Azerbaijan Aysel Manafova: Ayyy Mija! Where are you going in this concoction? Oversized jeweled strapless bustier attached to black panties and a see-through chiffon overskirt. While I applaud the sheer tenacity to "Just Go For It" by wearing this ensemble, I think the taste level is questionable and maybe three more layers of that black chiffon would have helped.




Miss Nicaragua Nastassja Bolivar: This is a confusing gown for me. It has heavily sequined applique on the sides, top, sleeves and then panels of royal blue chiffon godets in the front and the back for some reason. I can just hear fashion designer--and former "Project Runway" judge--Michael Kors now: "She's POOPING Chiffon!". And then, the lining: it stops just where her bootie ends. Why? Who knows. She's like a belly dancer about to perform a dance to Ravel's "Bolero" in a questionable Moroccan nightclub.




Miss Angola Vaumara Rebelo (left): I think the gold lace sequin applique in this gown is interesting but I'm confused why all of a sudden there's blue in the wrists and once again--like on "Miss Nicaragua", the lining awkwardly stops way too close to her cha-cha.

Miss Aruba Stefanie Guillen Evangelista (right): Oh no. Unless she is figure skating to Rimsky-Korsakov's "Scheherazade", this gown is unacceptable. It's trashy, cheap-looking and badly designed.



Cha Cha Girls:


Miss Paraguay Guadalupe Gonzalez Talavera: This gown--featuring a nude-colored strapless bustier with black crystal applique--and black satin and tulle full skirt is two minutes away from a Folies Bergère show that got cancelled. The gown looks as if it was attacked by a cheap fabric store in Downtown L.A. Cha-Cha Not.





Miss Nigeria Stephanie Okwu: God bless Stephanie for even thinking that this was cute. She either asked an actual fashion designer--or saw this on a rack and said "Yep! I'll take it!". This Halloween-orange mermaid ruffle iridescent POLYESTER mess of a gown is THE definition of Bad Cha-Cha. This is a dress one wears at the Rio de Janeiro Carnival on a float...if you're a fabulous Drag Queen. Otherwise, not so much.




Miss Romania Roxana Andrei: This "interesting" design combines both Cha-Cha aspects as well as semi-Asian influences. There's the oversized blouson bishop sleeves and high slit (Cha-Cha) and then the red printed applique satin fabrication (a little more "Asiana"). Irregardless, the entire look is more of a "Dancing With The Stars" Hostess...in Macau.



The "Underwhelming Gown Prize" Goes To:



Miss Norway Mari Ekelof: Mari, Please...I want you to just try!! In this "Evening Gown Portrait", you're not even trying! A) You look as bored as a web-searching twenty-something at their local Starbucks. And B) this slate blue chiffon maxi-dress is not what one chooses to feature on their "Miss Universe Evening Gown" portrait. It's a nice dress to bring to your Cancun vacation--and wear for after-pool cocktails-and-dinner night--but not to this.



The "At-a-Girl/Oh No You Didn't" Prize Goes To:



Miss Haiti Mondiana Pierre: I have two words: Go Mondiana! First, I love how she incorporated some of the Haitian flag colors into her gown...as FEATHERS that trickled down from her gold embroidered Empire-waisted dress. It's half National Costume/half evening gown (a very small half!). She's sooo GORGEOUS, but the dress is definitely "Ayyy Mija!/No She Didn't!".



Finally, the "Please Go Back To The Tony Ward Couture Show Look":


Miss Poland Paulina Krupisnka: I don't necessarily dislike this evening gown on "Miss Poland" Paulina Krupinska so much; yes, it's a bit tacky and cheap-looking (and yes, the color combination is a bit garish) but it's OK. It's the fact that she looks so underwhelming and not "Miss Universe" material in this entire look--from the 1990's side swept hairstyle to the pose, to the earrings and shoes. It's a FAR CRY from what she looked like last week modeling in the Tony Ward Couture runway show at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Russia:

Miss Chile Maria Jesus Matthei: One of my favorite gowns of all the Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portraits. This salmon pink colored chiffon gown with copper sequined neck-piece, waistband and shirred bodice is a stunner; very red carpet, very chic. Her high-ponytail hairdo makes her look rather severe but it works with this gown. I hope, however that for the Preliminaries, she doesn't do this hair style.


Miss Jamaica Kerrie Baylis: Now this is a GOWN! Mermaid-shaped black sequined applique with feathered bottom. It's a lot but...it works. Diva Fab for sure.








Miss Australia Olivia Wells: Sweet, elegant and "Elie Saab Lite"...in other words, I like. This off-white gown with side lace detail, sweeping train and metallic waistband is just right and very red carpet modern for a beauty pageant. Her hair style looks a tad "I'm Going To Lunch" but I'm OK with it. At least, she's not all bouffant "Pageant Betty".




Miss Colombia Lucia Aldana: This is a very nice gown on Miss Colombia. There's nothing extraordinary about this silver & lilac-hued sequined one-shoulder strap gown but there's also nothing wrong. It's "Pageant Safe" but Very Good Pageant Safe.






Miss France Hinarani de Longeaux: One of the favorites to win the crown--Hiranari, did not disappoint in her choice of gown for the Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portrait. This blush-colored chiffon and sequined gown is both red carpet fab and very runway. It definitely sweetens her. I hope, however, that Hinarani VAMPS it up when it actually comes time for the Preliminaries and Final Telecast. This contestant needs to be ALL ABOUT SEXY Goddess! Maybe, she should think about borrowing this gown she wore at the Tony Ward Couture runway show:








Miss India Manasi Mogue: Manasi wore this silver sequined gown with high side slit and side peplum detail. I'm NOT A FAN of the stacked black pumps but the gown is a Razzle Dazzle of a gown! Impacting, showstopper and sexy fab! If she did away with those stacked heels, the dress would also be the right length.






Miss Israel Yityish Aynaw: Simply perfect. A caviar-beaded ivory gown. Simple, great fit and perfect for her. It's not Couture-directional but THANK GOODNESS, it's not "Pageant Barbie" tacky either. Sublime.






Miss Philippines Ariella Arida: Ariella's gown choice for her Evening Gown Portrait is a safe but good one. This royal blue chiffon gown with silver sequined brooch accents is pretty and elegant. If there is any critique, those big ol' dangling earrings were so not necessary, especially when there were enough "jewels" in the sequined brooches. Say NO to over accessorizing. Please. PS: her hair and makeup are quite lovely.




Miss Puerto Rico Monic Perez: Fabulosa! Monic chose this black gown featuring a charmeuse skirt, sequined applique top and ruffled peplum. It's two minutes from being a little "Figure Skating Costume-ish" but it works, especially with the entire styling, her side swept hair and gorgeous makeup.




Miss Thailand Chalita Yaemwannang: Chalita wore this teal-green mermaid shaped gown that was very Zac Posen/Vera Wang-ish in its style. This was very Sofia Vergara Va-Va-Voom. I liked this gown and all its details, I just didn't like her hair; A slicked-back chignon would have added A LOT of elegance to the entire look.




Miss Trinidad and Tobago Catherine Miller: This was a nice silver-and-nude gown choice for Catherine. The sequin detail is interesting and red carpet fab! On a negative note: it's too short. Note to all beauty pageant girls: I don't want to see those big ol' pumps! #Tacky.




Miss Singapore Shi Lim: I'm not sure what is happening in the front since this is a side view, but I like it nonetheless. This silver-gray jersey gown has a 1930s vibe in its cut and side arm detail that I appreciate. It's very elegant and right for her.





Miss Venezuela Gabriela Isler: Miss Venezuela wore this blush colored gown with silver sequin detail. It's a very nice gown and I have no problem with it (that's why she's here in my "Great" bunch) but I feel she's a little too covered up. I also don't like her hair. Gabriela modeled in the Tony Ward Couture show...




...and this was one of the gowns she wore and well, she looked A THOUSAND TIMES better in this--especially with slicked-back hairstyle. I hope she "brings it" like this above when it comes to the Preliminaries and Final telecast (if she gets one of the coveted Semi-Finalist spots).




Miss Vietnam Tru'o'ng Thi May: Finally this was one of my favorite gowns form this year's "Miss Universe Evening Gown Portraits". I loved the color, the silhouette and the fit. It was very impacting, elegant with a stage appeal and need I add...







**Up Next: My "Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portraits" "Oh No She Didn't/Ayyy Mija!" Group...Stay Tuned!!

Continuing with this edition of my Skate Canada 2013 Costumes Recap, in my last post I talked about the Ladies and Pairs of 2013 Skate Canada and now, it is time to discuss The Men and Ice Dance...The boys featured some creative costumes and well, Ice Dance had a "Groundhog Day" of sorts, when it came to one of the teams.  Shall we get down to Costume business and discuss? Yes, let's do it:





The Men:





Patrick Chan Canada, Short Program: Patrick wore this costume above for his Short Program to "Elegie in E-flat minor" by Sergei Rachmaninoff. Patrick is not know for wearing costumes with lots of 'bells & whistles" (i.e sequined appliques, multicolored crystals, etc.) so I don't expect much when I see Patrick. But this look semi-impressed me; it was a beautifully made "tuxedo"-style shirt with ombre-shaded coloring and (wait for it!) tiny crystals throughout. 




Free Skate: For his Free Skate to "Concerto Grosso" by Arcangelo Corelli, I really liked this look. As you can tell, he never really changes his pants--almost always black--but where he and his costume designer get creative is with the tops. This was an interesting shawl-collared lilac-grey shirt with beaded flower applique. It had hints of the Baroque-style present in his music.




Jeremy Abbott USA, Short Program: Jeremy skated his Short Program to "Lilies of the Valley" from the Pina sountrack by Jun Miyake in this brown costume consisting of pants, textured "leather" vest, and v-neck stretch long-sleeve top. This is soooo very Jeremy...








Free Skate: For his Free Skate to "Exogenesis Symphony Part III (Redemption)" by Muse, again he didn't disappoint with his typical Jeremy Abbott Color Scheme (brown, gray). I liked the "leather" with grommets armhole shoulder detail in the gray heathered top he wore. And yes, this here also could work as one of Robin Hood's Merry Men.



Both his Short and Free Skate costumes were designed by Elise Fife. Now, in case you were wondering, Jeremy skated to this same music back in Season 2011-2012. He liked it so much, he brought it back. What kind of costume did he wear back then for that?








Nobunari Oda Japan, Short Program: For his Short program to "Cotton Club" by John Barry, Nobunari wore this fun look consisting of a beaded open dress shirt and bedazzled blue untied bow-tie, with black "tuxedo" pants. I liked the pop of color in his tie and the ode to the look of the days of the infamous nightclub during America's Prohibition Era.




Free Skate: Speaking of Robin Hood...Nobunari skated his Free Skate to the iconic "William Tell Overture" by Giacochino Rossini. I am never a fan of beige and brown in a costume, but his look was perfect for the music and theme. The brown stretch velvet pants were cut in line of the period costumes of the time,  and although the jagged hem of the shirt was a bit cheesy, it did look nice when he did his jumps and turns. I appreciated the gold sequined belt giving a bit of interest to the costume and I also loved that some of that gold trim was added as a "peek-a-boo" accent at the neck/shoulder.










Charlene Guignard and Marco Fabbri Italy, Free Dance: This Italian Ice Dance team skated their Free Skate to "Un giorno per noi" from Romeo and Juliet performed by Josh Groban and "Dance of the Knights" from Romeo and Juliet by Sergei Prokofiev. The costumes were elaborate, traditional and could never be mistaken for anything but Romeo and Juliet. Charlene's almost-see through sequined sleeves were gorgeous and I liked the Empire-waisted gold rope and the fact that her gold scroll trim also ended up in his costume to tie it all in.




Nelli Zhiganshina and Alexander Gazsi Germany, Short Program: For their Short Dance to "Le Jazz Hot" performed by the cast of Glee, Zhiganshina and Gazsi wore these costumes. Hers was an emerald green dress horizontally gathered in the front with back cascade ruffles in the back and his consisted of a patterned sweater vest, dress shirt with elbow patched, bow tie and black pants. I didn't quite get the connection between the two costumes. I understood the concept of him playing a geek, I just wish it connected to her costume more. Now, what did they wear for their Free Dance?




THE SAME THING!!!! Yes, kids for their Free Dance to "Carrigan & Dibs" from the Casper soundtrack by James Horner, "Mr. E's Dance Card" from the Batman Forever soundtrack by Elliot Goldenthal and "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz, they decided to wear the SAME COSTUMES. I may be wrong about this (I'm sure Figure Skating aficionados will let me know!), but this might be the first time in a long time, this has ever been done. Did their actual Free Dance costumes get lost? Did one of their suitcases not make it to Canada? Nope, according to them, their Free Dance is supposed to be a "continuation" or a "Part Two" of their Short Dance. And therefore, the same costumes. Well, that's a good story but I'm not sure I'm buying it. I will say, they are being very "Costume Recessionista" about it all.





Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir Canada, Short Dance: Canada's Virtue and Moir wore these costumes for their Short Dance to Selections by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald, including "Dream a
Little Dream," "Muskrat Ramble" and "Dancing Cheek to Cheek". I thought these were fun, appropriate for the music and went well together. Her feathered and sequined dress had a 20's flapper style quality with a little bit of 30's chic. And I liked that it was all tied in with his black bow tie, suspenders and high-waisted black pants.




Free Dance: For their Gold Medal-winning Free Dance to Seasons by Alexander Glazunov and "Piano Concerto in F-sharp minor" by Alexander Scriabin, they decided to go the almost "non-costume" route and wear these above. When they first came onto the ice, I was a bit disappointed (coming from my fashion designer perspective) but then, as their beautiful Free Dance progressed--lightly but assuredly--I got it. The music is very classical yet their looks are more on the contemporary side. If this was a modern dance/ballet, the dancers would have probably worn this as well in the performance. I guess, I just miss the very Modern and directional looks they wore in last season's "Carmen" Free Dance: